The Perilous Plane
by Dupin
Summary: It's just like the book which never stops giving! Although I must warn you that it includes aeronautics, a clarinet, a new code and some arch-shapes hallways....oh, and trust me, it's not a silly Hotel Denouement fic-the children need to do something else
1. Chapter The First

**Book The Twelfth** **The Perilous Plane**

**_Dear Reader,_**

**_Unlike the words 'picnic', 'chocolate' and 'lullaby', the word 'perilous' is not a word that is pleasant, or fills young children with glee, which is why the second you see the title of this book, you should quickly stop seeing it, and search for brighter names, for it is not just the title of this book that is perilous, but almost everything inside is as well. _****__**

The items inside this book, including a large fly swatter, complicated controls, an aeronautic, a troublesome tale, a shocking return, and a piano are so perilous, you might want to place this perilous book down, before you read the perilous words, and never have a goods night sleep again.

**_It is my sworn duty to write down the events in the young lives of the Baudelaire children, but by no means is it yours to read it, so run off and do less perilous things including picnics, chocolate, and lullabies, and forget about the whole perilous thing._**

**_With all due respect_**

**_Lemony Snicket_**

_For Beatrice-_

_The thought of you in my mind, unlike you yourself_

_Shall never die._

**Chapter One**

A poem I know very well, written by an old associate is 

the only way to begin this book of woe and misery. The poem is called 'The Waste Land', by T.S Elliot. The verse I can most associate with the Baudelaire's mentions many things, including a violet hour, a human engine, and eyes turning upwards, but when the Baudelaire's arrived at Briny Beach, and decoded a telegram, there is one part of the poem, right at the end of the previously mentioned verse which could be connected. The line is 'Like a taxi throbbing waiting', and although it does not associate with the whole story of the Baudelaire's, it does so with what they found at Briny Beach, the same place as where they were told their parents were killed in a horrific fire which destroyed the mansion in which they had grown up.

Inside a taxi waiting, the Baudelaire's put on their seatbelts quietly, giving each other nervous looks, wondering where they were off to, or what the woman driving wanted. Her name was Kit Snicket, and a Captain named Widdershins had told the three children that she was a good woman, who had helped built his submarine. But as the children closed the door behind them, they couldn't help but wonder if the situation would turn unfortunate, and they would find themselves yet again in a web of misery and woe. The sun was up on what would seem a pleasant enough Monday morning: only three days away from a meeting at the Hotel Denouement, where members of a mysterious organization named V.F.D were planning to gather. The Baudelaire's did not know what V.F.D stood for, or what they exactly did, and were hoping to find out. Recently, they had been on the search in a dangerous grotto looking for the sugar bowl: an item wanted by the volunteers, good and bad, but even then they did not know what it was, or why it was so important.

'Are we all ready to go?' said Kit Snicket, fastening her own seatbelt, and turning back to the Baudelaire's with a kind grin on her face.

'Go where?' Violet asked, confused.

'Denouement?' Sunny asked eagerly?

'It's only Monday, Baudelaire's,' Kit replied, and turned to face the steering wheel. From the window, the Baudelaire's could see Mr. Poe running towards them, with a handkerchief in one hand. Mr. Poe was in charge of their enormous fortune, and the children had not seen him for a long time. They would have gone with him, and where he wanted them to go, but a telegram sent to them by a particular Quigley Quagmire, who was a cartographer, and the third of three triplets. He was thought to be dead by his other two siblings, Duncan and Isadora, but they had no way of knowing he had survived the deadly fire in their house, as they were in a self-sustaining hot air balloon home, invented by a man named Hector, who was with them in it, and with a little help from Violet.

'Well, then where are we going?' Klaus asked.

'Are you a volunteer?' Violet asked.

'What's sugar bowl?' Sunny questioned.

'Baudelaire's,' Kit said with a chuckle, as they pulled out from where they were parked. The children could briefly here Mr. Poe's cries as he rushed up to them, but Kit pressed her foot down on the accelerator, and the car started to drive away before he got close enough. The children saw him through the right-side window, panting, and stopping by the side of Briny Beach, as he gave up and started coughing into his handkerchief. Kit saw them as they looked away, and postponed what she was to say, until Mr. Poe was out of site, and the Baudelaire's were looking back at her.

'It's not easy to just answer your questions,' she said,' I am a volunteer. But the other two we can't quite answer now. Unless someone's around: the other side of V.F.D could have gotten into the taxi, as they've done to our jeeps, and maybe bugged it or something. We can't take our chances.'

'Oh,' Violet said, angry that her questions couldn't be answered at that precise moment. She looked to the side at her sister and her brother, and saw the same expression on their faces. All three Baudelaire children were hungry for answers, after wanting them for so long, and the idea of having to wait for them made them frustrated, yet full of anticipation.

'For the meantime,' Kit said,' what do you three want to talk about?' This question had an answer anyone could know.

'Inventions,' Violet said,' I've been interested in telegram devices after checking out the one at the Queequeg. I've always known the basics with them, but maybe we could discuss it further.'

'Books,' Klaus said. 'After our stay in these uniforms, I've been quite thirsty for reading some Herman Melville literature. I'd love to discuss your interests in him.'

'Cooking timequeg youintest,' Sunny said, and Violet quickly explained.

'She means she'd loved to discuss cooking. After her time in a proper kitchen at the Queequeg, her interest had developed further, and she'd like to know your interests in it.'

It suddenly seemed like Kit was a woman they knew very well, and they felt free to talk to her as if they were a friend from school, or a neighbour they had known for years. But they had only known Kit for a very short time, only since they had arrived at the taxi about ten minutes before.

'You certainly have unique interests,' Kit said, using a word which here means 'individual, and quite super'. 'I don't know much about telegram devices. The one on board is getting very rusty, and the telegram we received yesterday was the first in ages. Klaus, I'm not too familiar with Herman Melville's stories. I'm more into different poetry instead. Except for maybe Edgar Guest…And talking of the uniforms you're wearing, do you have your regular clothes underneath?' The children nodded, as Kit looked back. 'Good,' she said,' Well take them off if you want. You must be very wet.'

The children shrugged, and grinned as they finally took off the big slippery uniforms. They undid the large zips and straps, and wriggled them off, pulling up the sleeves, and pulling down the legs of the uniforms. Soon, the Herman Melville portraits just lay at their feet, and they felt happy in their regular clothing.

'Me?' Sunny then asked.

'Ah yes,' Kit said, facing the steering wheel, and turning a sharp corner. 'I like cooking if I say so myself. I do it all the time for father at that trainee who's with us at the moment…Harriet I believe. I'm sure we can prepare some wonderful meals together.'

Sunny gave a toothy grin with her very sharp teeth, which she was growing into. All three Baudelaires looked out of the window, and admired the passing view of the morning, until Kit gave them an offer.

'I have some sandwiches for lunch,' she said, pointing to a bag in the passenger seat. Sorry this is taking so long…we'll be there very soon I hope.'

'It's okay,' Klaus said, as Kit passed the brown back to the back row. 'The scenery is beautiful, and these seats are quite comfortable.' Sunny picked up a sandwich, with strawberry jam in it.

'Thank you!' she replied in a squeal. A grin stretched over Kit's face.

'No problem' she said,' I'm so glad I'm finally getting to meet you. It's my pleasure.'

'I'm chuffed,' Violet's said.

The saying 'I'm chuffed' has nothing to do with chuffs, of chuffing, or any train of some sort. It simply means that you are very happy that someone thinks highly of you, and in this case, not just one of the three Baudelaire's felt chuffed, but all of them did, as they relaxed in the back seat of the taxi, chewing on sandwiches. Violet took a bite into a peanut butter sandwich, and felt safe to be away from underneath the water, dealing with dangerous fungi. Klaus swallowed a mouthful of chocolate spread, and felt thankful they were safe in the taxi, with Kit Snicket. And Sunny gnawed at a strawberry jam sandwich, and just appreciated the fact she was still with her two siblings, no matter what they had been through. All three Baudelaire's snacked inside the taxi, and felt chuffed that they had gone so far, and felt safe and happy. Soon enough, the car turned away from the main cities, and entered another desolate area. It reminded the children of the flat areas of the Village Of Fowl Devotees, or the area around Heimlich Hospital, and the hinterlands, where Caligari Carnival once stood. They realized their journey might as well have been a big desolate area, with nowhere to hide maybe from except behind a cactus from Count Olaf and his horrible schemes.

Morning turned to noon, and the Baudelaire's still sat in the back of the car. Kit was humming a quiet tune to herself, as she rounded another corner. The children all needed a good stretch after being sat down for so long, as you will know, if you've ever had to sit in a car, or maybe on the roof of a greenhouse, trying to attract the attention of the people inside, and in the first scenario, the children were all very eager to get out of the car.

'Almost there, kids,' Kit Snicket said, and although the sandwiches had stopped the hunger in their stomachs, the hunger for information in their minds was as starving as ever, and knowing soon their answers would be answered was the greatest thought in a while.

'Hooray!' Sunny cried, eagerly, trying to get a good look out of the window. She frowned. Outside was the same desolate area, with a small object in the distance, too far away to identify. There were no corners in the road, and the children could see miles ahead, yet there seemed to be nowhere to stop.

'Empty…' Sunny said is dismay.

'Kit,' Klaus said,' We can't see anywhere to stop. Are we really almost there?'

'Of course,' said Kit in reply,' I can see it right in front of us.'

All three Baudelaire's turned to the windows, but they saw the same bland area around them, except for the object which was slightly large and appeared to be quite huge, enough for a small building. It was a weird shape, that did not look like a normal house.

'Perplex,' Sunny said, shaking her head.

'Sunny's confused,' Violet translated,' and I have to admit I am as well, Kit. What is that object? I can see small windows, but the shape is weird.'

'Explain?' Sunny asked. Kit gave a grin.

'You'll see,' Kit said, and the two female Baudelaire's gave small groans.

Being left in suspense is being like being left on hold in a telephone conversation, because you wait for a result to come, instead of your mind thinking about what the end result to be, or what kind of person puts on the music you are listening to on hold. Sometimes, being put in suspense can be fun, where you just want to listen to the music, or try to decode it, but sometimes it can be like torture and be very unfortunate, when the hold music gets to you so much, you just burst out into hysterical crying, and hang up.

But the Baudelaires were not left in suspense for long, for when they turned to see Klaus, he was not showing the face of someone left in suspense. He was showing the face of someone who had just figured something out, and for living with Klaus for so many years-all her life, in Sunny's case, and all his for Violet's, they could tell his expression, and they knew at once what he'd disovered.

'What is it Klaus?' Violet asked. 'You've discovered what it is, haven't you?'

Klaus turned his excited face to Violet, and gave a nod.

'What?' Sunny asked eagerly. But before Klaus could answer the question, the taxi came to a screeching halt, and all three Baudelaire's turned to the window, and two of them were in shock.

On a big patch of desolate area was a large piece of aircraft with the V.F.D insignia on it: at first, it appeared to be an eye, but if you looked closer, it was actually the three haunting initials. Inside the 'D', was a large square window, with a small figure standing in. The two sisters did not need Klaus to explain what the object in front of them was, but with a grand grin on his face, he did so anyway.

'A plane,' he said triumphantly, and all three children were chuffed.

_A/N: Well I hope you enjoyed-the chapters won't start getting shorter, I assure you, although the next ones a bit shorter. Review, and enjoy! I'm writing Chapter Seven as we speak._


	2. Chapter The Second

**The Perilous Plane   
Book The Twelfth In A Series Of Unfortunate Events**

_Dupin's Notes: Where did we leave off...ah, yes...the Baudelaire's time on the taxi had ended, and they had spotted the large plane. In the following Chapter, we see the name of the plane. Five points for anyone who gives me the reference of it, which was kindly suggested by James (Skalu). I realize this Chapter is quite short, but I decided I liked the way it went, and how it ended, and didn't want to add anything on. Enjoy, I'm really happy with the feedback I got, and hope I can get the same wonderful comments again. Enjoy._

Okay, thanks to all the reviews:

**Strawberry-sweetness025**: I shall try, and hopefully succeed!

**Bella Viola**-Yay. Technical proof is always fun.

**Laura V. Bleediote**- Never heard of 'chuffed'? Strange.

**QQuagmire**- Thanks! I feel so chuffed when I get put on people's favourites list.

**Samela**: And that is what I'm doing now! ;)

**Louis-**Sorry, this is a fanfiction, not the real book. Did it convince you?

**Bright Blue Cereal Bowls**-I'm actually British, so a funny coincidence. Thanks for the great comment!

**Chapter Two,**   
(There is a picture of two figures, one with a cigar, making a ball of smoke cover the two heads)

Kit pulled herself out of the driving seat, and after taking a good stretch, like the Baudelaire's ached to; she opened up the back doors. Unfastening their seatbelts, the children's eyes were still fixed on the immense plane, a word which here means 'rather big.'   
Klaus, who still had a grin, was obviously quite excited about going on a plane, assuming of course, he was going on it. 'Wow!' he cried,' A submarine was quite interesting, but a plane?' He hopped out from the taxi, and his two sisters followed behind. 'Right before the fire,' he said, with a small frown on his face,' I was reading about planes. I was thinking about getting into aeronautics.'

A great smile suddenly hit Kit's face, and all three children noticed. Giving a pleasant nod, her blonde hair bouncing slightly, she took a step towards Klaus, still smiling.

'Aeronautics?' she asked. 'Like me?'

Like most things, the study of planes and various other aircraft has a name. Like the Baudelaire's learned a while ago, the study of snakes and other interesting reptiles is called herpetology. Very recently, on the Queequeg, they had met a mycologist, which they learned meant the study of fungi and mushrooms, except for Klaus who already knew it. There are studies of trains, and studies of the mind, and studies of fruit, the last one being lesser common these days. However, the name for studies usually end in five letters, which are 'o', 'l', 'o', 'g', and 'y.' The study of aircraft does not bear those five letters, and therefore sounds very different. Like Kit, and Klaus said, the name for it is aeronautics, and Klaus became more thrilled as he found someone with similar interests, and felt that maybe things can be picked up from after a terrible fire.

'Maybe things can be picked up from after a terrible fire,' he said. 'My mother was telling me about them several days before. She was really into it.' He never seemed to mention the words 'the fire', as if it would bring back all the pain he had felt on the beach.

'Like me,' Kit said. 'I'm just a trainee at it really-I couldn't actually fly the plane myself at the moment. I've learned what I know from my father, with some help with books from my aeronautic library.'

'A library?' Violet asked,' on the plane?' Kit gave a swift nod in Violet's direction.

'I like to call it the Flying Library myself,' she said with a small chuckle. Suddenly, she hugged herself, folding her arms around the side of her ribs.   
'I'm getting pretty cold,' she admitted.

'Same here!' Sunny cried.

'It is a little chilly,' Violet said.

'Well, let's stop talking out here in the cold,' Kit said,' and go inside.' Klaus's eyes brightened up in the dreary wind.

The four figures starting making their way towards the sandy planes, towards the large plane, in the breeze. Violet couldn't wait to see the telegram machine, and learn more about the designs and blueprints. Klaus couldn't wait to visit what Kit called the Flying Library, and have a proper discussion with her about aeronautics. Sunny couldn't wait to help with the cooking, and get a look at an aero kitchen. All three children had exciting thoughts in their head as they approached the plane, and with these thoughts occupying them, the word occupying meaning 'kept them busy as they walked across the plains towards the plane', they didn't realize how enormous the plane was up close, until they were only several paces away. At the sight of it, Sunny gawped, and her siblings gave an admirable grin.

'Immensinormous!' she cried

'_Immensinormous_!'' mimicked a voice from behind, and the children hesitated, as Kit continued walking towards the plane. Violet looked around, and started coughing as a large cloud of smoke came her way. Klaus turned, and gasped as a tall man with a red nose frowned at him. And Sunny gave a cry of shock, and rushed away from the figures a bit as they took another step forwards. 'You haven't changed, Sunny Baudelaire,' the voice said rudely. 'You still babble rubbish as much as you ever did!'

Kit noticed the children weren't walking with her and turned around to see what was the fuss.

'What's the fuss?' she asked, and then frowned at the two men standing in front of the Baudelaires. 'Who are you?' she asked darkly.

'_Who are you?_' mimicked the voice. 'Why woman, it is clear to me you are as thick as these children here. Everyone should know who the world's greatest violin player is!' He raised his hands triumphantly as if an applauding crowd were in front of him, and cried out, 'Nero!'   
'These children are very bright, _Nero_,' Kit scowled, using his name and not liking it,' unlike you perhaps. And besides, who's that man by you? Even if I recognized him, his face is covered from his disgusting smoking habit.'

'Even if you recognized me, you wouldn't be able to pronounce my name. So just call me Sir.' Behind the smoke, the children could hear a sigh. 'Even though I've given up being a Sir for that Lumber mill anyway.'

'Siro doing?' Sunny asked.

'Sunny means she wants to know what you two are doing here,' Violet translated,' and I have to admit, I'm also very curious.'

'We're here to catch you Baudelaires,' Sir growled, waving his cigar above his head, the smoke still covering his face. 'But, why?' Klaus asked,' What interest is it to you?'

'_What interest is it to you?_' Nero mimicked. 'Do you know how much money they've advertised for your capture? Enough to make us forget about silly mills and schools! Although we're way past them anyway.'

'Why did you leave?' Violet asked?

'Why not?' Sir replied. 'With Dr. Orwell's death, we had a legal case going on, and I had to pay up a lot of money, which left me pretty much penniless. I had no money to run a mill with, so I left one night, leaving Charles with all the debts and problems. Yes, he was in charge, like he had hoped some day, but I'd be surprised if the mill was still going now.'

'And for me,' Nero said, putting a hand to his chest,' it all started with you three little brats!' He sharply pointed at them with his other hand and scowled menacingly. 'After you caused those silly twins to be kidnapped by the best coach we'd ever had, all kind of stupid things happened! Students were taken away, afraid of what could happen-even Carmelita Spats, our star pupil. Then a new teacher kidnapped two more twins, and the whole school was in mayhem!' Kit looked down at the ground, whilst the children were eager to hear the rest of the story.

'The main principal was too stupid to do anything, and I couldn't be bothered with the problems, and then to top it off, Mrs. Bass was arrested from robbing some Mulctary Money Management! So I left the school, and started a new life. Without much money, unfortunately.'

'Then one day,' Sir said,' I met Nero at a diner. He looked like an important man.'

'Which I was!' Nero interrupted,' I was trying to promote my violin career. I asked him if he'd like to buy a ticket, but he claimed he did not have the money.'

'Soon, we started talking, and whilst we were,' Sir said,' Nero glanced at the front page of that day's Daily Punctilio! And we were both shocked at the headline!'

'BAUDELAIRE BUTCHERS!' Nero cried grandly, raising both his arms again. 'Then, it became apparent we'd both put up with these three little fiends. We looked at the money for your capture, and decided to go after you.'

'Of course, I also realized your encounter with the stamping machine,' Sir said, turning to Klaus,' was not an accident, like you claimed.'

'He was hypnotized!' Violet cried, stepping forward.

'_He was hypnotized!_' Nero rudely mimicked,' that's a lousy excuse, Baudelaires. If I had known you were murderers when you had been at my boarding school, then I would have…have…quadrupled expelled you all!'

'We're not murderers!' Sunny cried pathetically up to the two men.

'Of course you are!' Sir said. 'The newspaper said so!'

'The newspapers a bunch of lies!' Klaus explained.

'Is it really?' Nero asked. 'Who should we trust? Professional journalists writing for a trustworthy newspaper? Or three bratty orphans?'

'Us!' Sunny cried up in desperation.

'This is stupid!' cried Kit from behind. 'Come on children, hop aboard and leave these stupid men behind.'

'Oh, no,' Nero said,' You're not leaving! Together, we travelled towards Heimlich Hospital, to find it burnt to the ground!'

'Together, we drove through the hinterlands towards a stupid Carnival, to find it no longer there!' Sir cried.

'Together, we decided the Mortmain Mountains were too cold, and retreated back to our home town!' Nero cried.

'And what did we find?' Sir asked only to answer himself. 'Driving past Briny Beach, we finally got the luck we deserved, and saw you three little varmints in stupid suits getting into a taxi!

'And we followed you straight away!' Nero said,' For hours we've driven after this taxi, and for weeks we've been trying to find you. And now, you're not just hopping on a plane with some silly woman, leaving us in a stupid sand area!' With that, Nero dramatically kicked the sand. Sunny got the full effect of it landing over her, and gave a loud scream, before beginning to cry. Violet quickly picked up her baby sister, and with her brother, turned towards Kit and the plane.

'Come on Kit,' Klaus said. 'Let's get on that plane.'

'No!' said a cry from Sir, as the children and Kit Snicket rushed towards the stairs leaving to a closed door with the V.F.D insignia on it.

'You won't get away!' Nero cried, running towards the stairs, Sir closely behind.

'We need the children!'

'We need the money!'

'We need a break!'

The babblings of the two men as they rushed after the Baudelaire's was hysterical and nonsense, as if they had become desperate and craved on their journey since their experience with the Baudelaires.

'Pa!' cried Kit, rushing up the stairs, towards the door,' Open up!'

'Open up!' Violet cried.

'Open up!' Klaus cried.

'Open up!' Sunny cried.

'_Open up_!' all three children cried, as they came towards the door. They wanted to get away from the sandy plaines, and the two men. They wanted to get away the babbling behind them, and they wanted to get away from the ground where so much evil stood. The Baudelaires wanted to get away from so many things, they wished not just the door would open up, but the floor beneath them would to, opening to a place where they could stay safe, away from all the evil and unfortunate things around them.

'Time is money, money is my need!' Nero was crying, as the door of the plane swung open in front of them. They could not see who was opening it, but quickly rushed inside nonetheless. Kit stayed behind, as Nero and Sir approached slowly, panting. Her eyes were bright, as if she were about to invite her in, but what she said showed the difference.

'You might want to get away,' she said. 'Before this plane takes off. Anyone should know that it's dangerous to be around a plane just leaving the ground.'

'We're…tired…' Nero pouted. Kit stepped in, and a smile reached her face.

'_We're tired_,' she mimicked, and shut the door. Then, she turned back to the children, who were all there, standing dumbfounded.

'That got a bit in the way of things,' she said. The children looked around for the figure who entered the door, but saw none. Then, they saw a figure in the shadow of the group of large shelves, racks, baskets and boxes., but his face and other features were darkened.

'Certainly,' Klaus agreed. 'I thought we'd gotten away from those two.'

'I hope we have now,' Kit said. 'I'll let them get away, and then we'll set this plane off.'

'It certainly looks very cosy from here,' Violet replied.

'Yes,' Kit said. 'Me and Pa will give you a grand tour in just a second. Come out, Pa!' The figure in the shadows stood out, and the children saw a short man, slightly taller then Violet, with a wrinkled face, an a captains cap on. He smiled as her observed the three children, and then spoke to them for the first time.

'Hello, Baudelaires,' he said. His voice was croaky, yet kind. 'Welcome to the _Hindenburger_.'

_How was that for a Chapter? Hope you enjoyed. Chapter three should be coming soon_


	3. Chapter The Third

Chapter Three

(picture of large propeller (coming soon maybe?))

Whether you have been fleeing from you enemies, or making your way to another country for a brief vacation, then you will know the thrill of being in a plane, and watching down on everything, so small, as if you were the puppeteer, feeling in control, and the Baudelaire's felt the thrill through their bodies as the sounds of Sir and Vice Principal Nero became quieter as they fled back to their automobile, and they realize they'd soon be in the air.

Everything in the main room of the Hindenburger was quiet for a minute, as everyone digested where they were. Violet digested thoughts about the workings of the plane. Klaus digested thoughts about the Flying Library, and Sunny digested thoughts about cooking, and about escaping Count Olaf by an enormous altitude. Even Kit and her father, a man who I wish I could tell the truth, were thinking about their three knew guests on the Hindenburger. Then finally, someone spoke.

'Hindenburger?' Sunny asked curiously, looking up from in Violet's clutch.

'She means she likes the name,' Klaus explained,' and that she'd be fascinated to look around.'

'I rather like the name myself,' Kit's father said. 'I chose it. And I think you'd better have a snack and a drink first, maybe?'

'Kit gave us sandwiches on our long journey.' Violet said with a shrug. 'To be honest, I'm rather full up from them.'

'Well at least have a drink!' the man said. 'To wash away the taste of salt!'

The children suddenly remembered the disgusting taste of salt in their mouths, which they had been distracted from in their thoughts, and nodded at the man, and his daughter Kit. Swiftly, the adults turned, their backs facing the three Baudelaire children, and then to walked through a large archway of the plane, their shoes clashing against the white plastic-looking floor. The Baudelaire's followed, the taste of salt water still in their mouths from their adventures underwater, and soon found themselves walking through an interesting arch-shaped hallway, which was dim, with a grated metal roof curving above their heads. Through the grates, was a thick layer of darkness, where pipes and wires were running through the plane. On the walls were pictures: one was of the man himself, whilst others were of the V.F.D insignia, one of fire, delicately burning a newspaper, and an assortment of others which Violet, Klaus and Sunny didn't have time to see, as their journey following Kit and the man through the tunnel ended, and they arrived in a new room.

The room had several panels around the side, where there were toasters and blenders stacked around. There was a marble sink with shiny taps, and cupboards in the panels, which were closed, but the Baudelaires could imagine having dishes and silverware inside. As far as I know, from my research, it was pretty much the same as when I stayed there, safe and secure, drinking some fresh tea and reading an absurd newspaper article. The only differences were a couple of new refrigerators, and a small, hard to read message carved on a top shelf. In the middle of the room, was a large dining table, which was more or less the same when I had stayed aboard the Hindenburger. Around the table were assortments of grand looking stools, and there was a posh fruit bowl in the middle of the oak in the table.

'Wonderly!' Sunny cried, which meant something like, 'What a pleasant room!' and Violet was quick to translate it to Kit and her father.

'Why thank you, Sunny,' Kit says. 'We want to live in a pleasant enough environment when we're flying.'

Living in a pleasant enough environment is very important if you want to live a pleasant enough life. The pleasant enough environment for a gorilla is in a jungle, as the pleasant enough environment for a child is in a warm home. Depending who you are, an environment, a word which here means 'place around you', pleasant enough for you will be different then what other people think, but all five of the people in the room, agreed that the kitchen was a pleasant enough environment for eating meals, rolling out maps, and having healthy discussions about various things.

'I can say you've succeeded with that,' Violet replied politely at Kit with a smile.

'Why thank you, Violet,' Kit said. 'I must say, you three children sure are polite. It's a pleasure to have you on board.'

'Why thank you,' Klaus said with a grin, and Kit gave a small giggle in his direction.

'Well, I'm sure this room gives Sunny a big interest,' the man said,' with her culinary skills. But how about we show rooms that'll interest the elder of you three?'

'Great idea,' Kit said. 'I'm sure Violet would love to see the control rooms, where our assistant pilot is at the moment, and I'm sure Klaus would love to see the Flying Library, and read a few aeronautics book. Does that sound nice?'

'It sounds wonderful!' Violet said, the gears in her mind beginning to work.

'It sounds remarkable!' Klaus said, using a fancy word for 'wonderful'.

'Hooray!' Sunny cried, and with that, Kit and her pa turned towards another archway, and the children followed. This time, there was no tunnel with a grated roof and painting hanging on the wall, and they swiftly entered another room, where there was a bookshelf, and several sofas, as well as a coffee table, and another window and a sideboard.

'This is what we call the common room,' Kit explained. 'In here, we talk whilst sitting on the sofa. On the bookshelves are novels, and books about other things, in case you don't feel like reading about aeronautics. There are some board games, and a deck of cards in the sideboard there.' She pointed around the room as she explained each things, until she had spun herself slowly right around, and was facing the children once more. This room also looked like a pleasant enough environment for them all, and so the grins stayed on their faced. They had not felt this safe and happy since they had met with the Quagmires at Prufock Prep, where Nero had bossed them around, or maybe when they were with their Uncle Monty, or maybe they hadn't been this happy since they were content in the pleasant enough environment of the Baudelaire mansion, which was the environment they wished for in the times when they thought.

'Next stop!' the man called grandly with a chuckle. 'The Flying Library!' At the announcement, Klaus grinned even more, and his eyes widened as they walked through another stone archway, which was a small curved tunnel that lasted only several seconds to walk through.

Then, the tunnel ended, and the children arrived in a new room. Kit turned to face them as they entered, her smile broad across her face.

'This is it!' she cried.' This is my domain!' She gave a chuckle, and stepped away from the centre of the room, the give the children a better look at what Kit called the Flying Library. The room was the grandest one on the plane that the children had seen, filled with grand pillars. Each bookshelf was tall with glass doors to open up and get out a book. There were curved modern lamps on each side of several comfortable looking chairs. For Klaus, it was wonderful, the most pleasant enough environment he had seen for a while.

'Wow,' he said in awe, gazing around the room. 'I think I'll spend a lot of time in here,' although he did not realize that there would be barely any time on his stay on the Hindenburger where he would spend there for his own enjoyment.

'Good to know!' Kit said,' There's nothing I like to see more then a smile!' Although I must correct, there are several things she did like seeing more.

'How long has it taken you to get this collection?' Klaus asked.

'Oh, a long time!' Kit said. 'My father got most of it, and I've just contributed a few things, taken from several libraries for several other mansions, and several library's of records and-well, you get the point.' At that, Klaus thought for a second about the Library of Records at Heimlich Hospital, and then about their recent stay at the Mortmain Mountains, but he kept quiet for now, as Kit's father grandly cried out something else.

'Onto the Control Room, yes?' he asked, and then without anyone answering, turned towards another hallway. This was another arch-shaped tunnel, but it was much a nicer environment then the others. The walls and ceiling of it were marble instead of grates, and the floor was a soft green carpet. At the end of the hallway, as Klaus thought of what Kit had said, and as Sunny thought of any recipes that she could try, Violet thought about what a proper plane control room would look like, and soon, they arrived at the end of the tunnel, where there was a wooden door with one word on it.

'"Controls",' Violet read. The father of Kit turned the shiny doorknob, and swung the wood far out, and soon they all piled into an empty room, that was quite small. There were some metal panels, curving almost right around the room, and several office chairs shoved by them, as if someone were about to do some office work and drink some office coffee. Although, as the children looked closely it became apparent that there would be no room so put any such coffee, as all around the curved panels were levers and buttons, and dials and switches and valves: a maze of them all around the room. Violet frowned at them deeply, wondering if she would ever have the chance to learn about how to use them, which she did, but only because her life was at risk. Above the panels, there was a window curving around just as the panels did themselves, and through them, was the site of the plains, where the taxi was parked, and the automobile of Sir and Nero was long gone. The sky above was blue, yet slightly cloudy.

'It looks like maybe a storm might come soon,' the man said with his croaky voice, which was a true predication, although he didn't know at the time.

'I hope not,' Violet said. 'I wouldn't want it to delay the journey.'

'Delay?' the man asked. 'We've got to set off very soon, Violet Baudelaire! We have to get to Hotel Denouement at top speed, if we want to get there before Olaf and stop his evil plans! Whilst he and his evil troupe are stuck on the ground, or underwater, so to speak, we'll be gliding through the air, getting closer to that Hotel!'

'But some members of his troupe are in the air!' Klaus pointed out. 'A man and a woman-the man's bald, and has a beard and the woman-'

'Has vice versa features,' Kit finished for him.

'Yes!' Violet said, and her eyes widened. 'Mr. Snicket,' she began, only for him to interrupt her.

'Jake!' Jake Snicket cried. 'Call me Jake!' Now Klaus' mind was not the only one in deep thought, as the youngest Baudelaire started thinking.

'They have eagles, Jake,' Violet said,' and they went after our friends, Duncan and Isadora Quagmire.'

'Hector!' Sunny added, still thinking.

'The Quagmires,' Jake said thoughtfully. 'They must be in danger then.'

'Exactly!' Violet cried. 'So, when we're flying, maybe we could look out for them! Volunteers helping one another!' Jake stroked his chin.

'Could we, Kit?' he asked,' Would it be wise?'

'It's helping volunteers, Pa,' Kit said, and stuck her hand out at Violet, who shook it. 'We'll help find those Quagmire's on our route to Hotel Denouement.'

Violet beamed, and the other two gave small smiles, although their minds were still busy. Finally, Klaus spoke.

'Kit,' he said carefully. 'You mentioned a Library Of Records, where the Snicket File was. Quigley Quagmire-the other Quagmire triplet said the three Snicket siblings were working on a file. Does that mean you know what's in the Snicket file? Does that mean you know the information to bring Count Olaf to justice?' Kit sighed and slowly shook her head.

'My brother, Jacques,' she replied quietly,' had the finished result. We planned to meet up at the Village Of Fowl Devotees for him to show it to me, but when I arrived, he was long dead, and the Snicket File had been taken to Heimlich Hospital. When I got there, someone had taken it. I've been pursuing it for ages, but I've had no luck. And now Count Olaf's in possession with it, it seems like we have no chance of bringing him to justice. The only way is to get to the gathering on Thursday, and the volunteers will all work together, to get rid of his evil, including me, and my Pa.'

'Me thinking!' Sunny cried, and Violet translated that she meant she also had some thoughts.

'Go on, Sunny,' Jake Snicket said. 'What are these thoughts?' Sunny looked at her siblings, and then pointed at Jake.

'J.S!' she cried. Violet and her brother looked up at the father of the Snicket siblings, and realized she spoke to truth.

'There have been some mysterious letters, messages and telegrams left for J.S,' Violet explained. 'And we've been wondering what the letters stood for. Is it you? Are you the J.S. we've wanted to know about?' Jake gave a long sigh.

'Follow me, Baudelaires,' he said, and the children did so, winding past the Flying Library, and going through the archway tunnels, through the common room, through the archway, and back into the kitchen.

'I'll start from the beginning,' Jake said. 'I'll tell you my story.'

Standing around the table where the children had first looked and seen the pleasant enough environment, they got ready to ask questions to the Snicket father, and they were hoping, that in the pleasant enough environment of the Hindenburger, they were about to get some answers.


	4. Chapter The Fourth

**Chapter Four**

_(Picture of an envelope, with the initials J.S. scribbled on.)_

Jake sat himself down on an old wooden chair, and the Baudelaires did the same, yet Kit remained standing.

'How about I get everyone some hot chocolate?' she asked.

'That'd be wonderful,' Klaus said.

'Cinnamon!' Sunny cried.

'She has her own recipe,' Violet explained. ' Maybe she could help.'

'Of course,' Kit said,' It'll give her a chance to see the kitchens in detail, and I know about her knack for cooking. However, it seems a shame she'd have to miss out on Pa's story.' A frown crossed Kit's face.

'I'll cope,' Sunny confessed, and with that, Kit led her out of the room, through an old wooden door, leaving Jake, Klaus and Violet, ready for the story.

The two elder Baudelaire's pulled their chairs closer to Jake, with a queasy feeling in their stomachs. Would this story answer all their questions? They had had talks like this with several people, and they never seemed to find out any more-if anything they had more questions to ask. When they talked with Olivia at the Caligari Carnival, they discovered a little about the V.F.D disguise kit, but had more questions about their parents, and the headquarters in the Mortmain Mountains. When they arrived at the headquarters, and talked with Quigley Quagmire, they learned a little about what V.F.D used, but ended up with questions about the schism. And when they talked with Fernald the hook-handed man, they learned a little about his past, but had more questions about his real father, and his surname. And now, as Jake gave a loud cough and prepared to tell his tale, they wondered if they would just end up with more questions.

'Me and my wife, Rebecca had three children,' he began. 'We both worked in V.F.D, and knew our children were to be recruited as well. First off, we had twins. Kit and Jacques, we called them.'

Violet slowly nodded. The resemblance was similar.

'We met Jacques Snicket,' she said,' Briefly. Before he was…'

'Murdered,' Jake finished grimly, and sighed. 'Sometimes it amazes me how evil people can be.'

'Maybe that's what people think of us,' Klaus pointed out,' Olaf framed us for the murder.'

'I know,' Jake said,' Everyone knows, thanks to Geraldine Julienne at the Daily Punctilio.'

'Mr. Poe mentioned her, back on Briny Beach where Kit picked us up,' Violet said,' but we don't know who she is.'

'She's a lousy reporter,' Jake said,' who wants fame. She always chews gum, and one thing to remember is, she loves Esme Squalor.'

'I remember her,' Klaus said, and Violet gave her brother a curious look. She was at Heimlich Hospital, although you might not remember,' he said, giving Violet a look. She had been under anaesthetic at the time. 'She was also at Caligari Carnival, for the Lion Show. I guess she stood out to me, because I'd seen her before.'

'That's another evil person,' Violet said,' It seemed like they're all around, wherever you go.'

'And that's the truth, Violet Baudelaire,' Jake said, with a sombre expression across his face, a phrase which he means, 'he looked very dark, and sad.' 'No where can you truly escape evil. Not even under the sea, in the V.F.D submarines. Now that Olaf has a hold of some, we've had to retreat to the air.'

'I thought you said you used planes to get around quickly,' Violet said, frowning.

'We do,' Jake said,' but another reason is because of all the evil around.'

'Wait a second,' Klaus said,' this is getting off track. What happened next, after you bore Kit and Jacques with your wife?'

'We had another child,' Jake said,' His name is Lemony. He died too.'

'How terrible,' Klaus said, looking down. He could see in the corner of his eye, that Violet was doing the same. At that short moment, the two elder Baudelaire's thought of all the people that had died around them. Their parents were taken, that morning whilst they were at Briny Beach. Their Uncle Monty and Aunt Josephine had been snatched by Count Olaf. Doctor Orwell had fallen into the saw, and Jacques had been killed with something important to say to them. The Quagmire parents had been killed in yet another fire, whilst Olaf's associates, however evil, had slowly been going down. At that moment, the Baudelaire's realized how many people had left them, and how they wanted people to stay and never leave. It was as if they were moving everywhere, people dying as they went, from Lakes to Mills, from Villages to Carnivals, Mountains to Waters. And now they were on the Hindenburger, they hoped no one else would be taken away from them.

They looked up half a minute later, with the thoughts going through their head, and turned to Jake.

'Of course, I only found out through The Daily Punctilio,' Jake said,' and with all of the lies, who knows if it's true. Anyway, on with the story. They were all recruited, and soon two were dead. Kit and me managed to get together, my wife…she left one day for a meeting, and never returned.'

'That's a terrible shame,' Violet said, and sighed,' I wonder where she is now.'

'Or if she's even alive,' Jake admitted.

'Hot Chocolate, and Cinnamon!' cried a young girl's voice, and they turned to the doorway, to see Kit holding a large wooden tray, with five steaming mugs on it, all bearing the V.F.D insignia, like on the plane's side, and on lots of other things, like a tent, and Count Olaf's ankle. Seeing it was become normal to the children. They were not scared of it, as they knew it could mean good, as well as wicked. Kit stepped into the room, with Sunny following, and began handing out mugs. Soon, everyone had a mug tight in clutch, and Kit sat herself down, and placed Sunny on their lap.

Klaus took a deep gulp of his drink, the last being a bit of salt water when he arose from the Queequeg submarine, onto the beach. 'Wow, Sunny,' he said,' This is better then ever. It's perfect to drink whilst listening to Jake's story.' Violet nodded in agreement, and then everyone turned to Jake, besides Jake himself, and he coughed once more, took a sip of hot chocolate, and carried on.

'Kit and me decided we had to contact V.F.D, and meet up, but everything seemed unsafe. In the end, we decided to write a letter to a certain Sally Selbald, using the Selbald code, which her husband, Gustav created.'

'Gustav,' Sunny muttered to herself, and then her eyes grew wide,' Uncle Monty's assistant!' she exclaimed.

'That's right!' Klaus said, and then turned his face to Jake,' Olaf killed him. Did he work for V.F.D?'

'He did,' Jake said with a small smile, and a nod,' and so did Sally. She replied saying that the members were gathering at the headquarters in the Mortmain Mountains.'

'We tried going there,' said Violet,' When we arrived, it was all in ashes.'

'When we got there, most of it was still standing,' Kit said,' we noticed the fire, and we noticed nobody was there. Our journey had been for nothing. But then, hours later, Sally Selbald arrived, and we all investigated the place. Then, whilst we were there, observing the burnt ice-cream shop, we heard a crash. It was from the kitchen, and we knew what it was. Another fire had been set. With our skills, we knew how to put it out. So we rushed in, and Sally noticed something on the oak table. We gasped at what we saw. The sugar bowl, lying there on a table. The arsonists hadn't noticed. As the fire spread, Sally chucked the sugar bowl out of the window, and with a crash, it passed through the glass, and into the ashen waters of the Stricken Stream.'

Violet gasped.

'We were on the Queequeg,' she said,' we followed it's path. Sunny's life was as risk because of it, and that…that stupid grotto! But yet, no one will tell us about it, and I'm getting so frustrated! It's just a stupid sugar bowl!'

'Violet's right,' Klaus said,' We've done so much to retrieve it, and yet no one will tell us! Look, Jake, please, just start from the top: what is the sugar bowl?'

'Why it's important?' Sunny asked curiously.

Jake took a deep sigh, and then picked up his mug from the coaster on the dining table. He took a long gulp, and then conveyed all three Baudelaire's with his right hand as he spoke.

'Sorry, Baudelaire's,' he began,' The sugar bowl cannot be explained with a simple question. It's complex, and most of all; the sugar bowl is worthless itself.'

The Baudelaire's all raised their eyebrows: if it was worthless, then why did all the volunteers want it?

'But then, why-'

'Why do people want it?' Jake asked,' Because of what's inside. And that cannot be blabbed to anyone who asks…it's a delicate secret, one that can only be tampered with by the most important volunteers. Kit herself only discovered recently.' The Baudelaire's all turned their heads to Kit, who gave a slow nod.

'And even now, I'm not sure I can understand everything,' she admitted,' It's like the Snicket File, children. What's in is so important, but yet so few people know what's in. Even volunteers with no idea with what it is want it…Sally Selbald, for instance, didn't know what was inside. But yet, she knew it was important, and threw it away from the fire, out to safety.' The Baudelaire's looked down. Maybe the secrets were not to be answered. Maybe Jake was right: maybe they were never to know these things.

'Speaking of your events at the headquarters,' Klaus said,' What happened after Sally threw the sugar bowl away?' He was thinking maybe the rest of the story was exciting, and took his mind of the sugar bowl, and maybe even answered other questions, deep in the web of mystery that surrounded them.

'Ah yes!' Kit exclaimed, obviously happy to get off the sugar bowl topic,' Pa, why don't you tell them that?'

'I shall,' said Jake with a small smile, the usual. 'We tried all we could to put out the fire, and eventually, it died down, with some help from us. We looked around, knowing that in a kitchen, there's a refrigerator, and perhaps there was a use of Verbal Fridge Dialogue in it. You kids all know what the Verbal Fridge Dialogue is, correct?' The children all nodded.

'Klaus saw!' Sunny cried, and all eyes turned on the middle Baudelaire.

'I did study the fridge in the headquarters,' he confirmed. 'We saw the very fresh dill, and even the letter's J.S. in the jam. This is where Sunny remembered the initials. We assumed Jacques Snicket, but Captain Widdershins from the Queequeg told us better. And to make it weirder, Quigley sent us a telegram, with the letter's J.S. in the C.C box. Mr. Poe even got sent a telegram with J.S as the initials of the sender. For a while we've been wondering who it is…are you this J.S.?'

'No wonder you're confused,' Jake said, not directly answering Klaus's question like a polite person should,' In the V.F.D, there are many J.S.' Kit gave a fast nod, and folded her arms in comfort.

'There's Justice Strauss, for example,' she explained,' Yet, she's a simple neophyte: a beginner. Just like I am at aeronautics. There's Josephine Spats, yet she married to become Josephine Anwhistle. And there was Jerome Squalor, who isn't in V.F.D, but some people think differently, as he had connections through Esme Squalor, and the floor above the penthouse. There's Jacques Snicket, as you said, and there's my Pa, Jake Snicket…'

'The message was for me,' Jake said grandly. 'We checked the fridge for the dill, finding it in the crisper, and then we saw my initials. It was telling me that we were meeting at the Hotel on Thursday.'

'But why just you?' Violet asked,' Didn't other volunteers need to know?'

'They already did,' Jake said,' Volunteer Factual Dispatches were sent, luckily before the telegraph devices were broken. We were busy on our journey, trying to meet up at the headquarters.'

'There was a couplet,' Kit said, and recited it,' "We left to early, you came to late

In the fridge reveals your fate." Of course, by then, we had already looked in the fridge, but it was nice for a pointer.'

'So, we set off on our way,' Jake said,' We heard Olaf had a submarine, The Caramel or something, so we decided to take to the air, with a woman named Harriet, who's the pilot when I need to do other things…'

'The Carmelita,' Sunny corrected.

'Then what?' Violet asked,' what about Quigley's telegram?'

'We got it,' Kit said, her grin dropping slightly ' we have a telegram device in the control room. We had to land somewhere safe, so that we would be hidden, whilst we came to collect you.'

'In the end, Kit went,' Jake said, and scratched the back of his neck embarrassedly. 'I'm not much of a driver,' he confessed,' I'm better at aeronautics.'

'And then we picked you up,' Kit said,' and now here you are.'

'That's our story,' the Snicket father said, with a slightly larger smile on his face,' Hope you enjoyed.'

'I don't know about the other two,' Klaus said,' But I certainly enjoyed it.'

Violet nodded, and clapped her hands together in applause. 'I thought it was fascinating.'

'Yay!' Sunny cried, which meant something like 'It was great, especially with this hot chocolate.'

Violet quickly translated, and then added, 'We should all finish off our hot chocolate, before it goes cold.'

'And I should start getting dinner ready,' Kit said,' Care to help, Sunny?'

'Of course!' replied the young girl, and Kit stood up, Sunny in her comforting clutch, and they wondered off to the kitchen.

'I ought to let Harriet get some rest, actually,' Jake said, also standing up,' I'll see you two soon.' With that, Jake Snicket-the mysterious J.S-left the main room, leaving the two elder children rather alone. Through the large window, in the middle of the 'D' of the insignia, the children could see the sun was starting to set beneath the hills, and Klaus gave a small yawn.

As you know, when someone yawns, one can hardly help but yawn themselves, so this usually ends up with a group of people weary and tired, which is why it's a good idea not to yawn on a busy underground train, or when you go to visit a popular orchestra. But as there were only two humans in the room at that moment, it was okay for Klaus to yawn, and okay for Violet to follow, because even if they did end up feeling weary and tired, it was getting fairly late anyway, and they needed some sleep after the day they had been through.

The next few minutes of the Baudelaire's lives were peaceful ones, as they watched the sun go beneath the hazy clouds through the large window, letting thoughts flow through their mind. They barely noticed much as they thought and watched, they didn't even notice Harriet come through the room minutes later, her jaw moving up and down making a dastardly noise as she chewed on something. They didn't even notice the wonderful smell of Chicken Tika Masala, a wonderful Indian dish my sister once prepared for me, as she did the Baudelaire's. They were only awaken from their deep train of thought, as Kit and Sunny came through from the kitchen area, Kit holding a large pot with a ladle poking from the top, and Sunny holding a smaller one, which looked empty, as well as a wooden spoon. As Violet and Klaus turned their heads, they were curious as to why Sunny was carrying these items, but they sound found an answer, when a loud banging waffled, an word which here means 'came surprisingly' through the room.

'Dinner!' Sunny cried, banging the wooden spoon against the empty pot. Kit placed the large metal pot with the ladle in the centre of the table, and hurried back to the kitchen to retrieve some bowls. Harriet wearily entered the room, and took something out of her mouth, and stuck it under the table, whilst the two elder Baudelaire's took their seats. Kit took the ladle, and put a large amount of the chicken and the sauce in one bowl, which she put on the side.

'Father's flying the plane at the moment,' she said,' It would seem a shame to make him go without.'

'It certainly looks very nice,' Violet agreed, peering through the top of the pot.

'And the smell is wonderful,' Klaus said. 'I've always liked Chicken Tika Masala. I haven't had it since…' He stopped, and everybody at the table knew what he meant, and so did not ask him to continue.

And so the crew of the Hindenburger ate the wonderful recipe, but the children's-except for Sunny, who was fully focused on the meal- minds were elsewhere as they chewed on the chicken, and sipped at the sauce. They were thinking about Jake's tale, about how he was J.S. But there was another thing the children were thinking about. Like all the other things, Jake had said it, but it was not part of his tale. They were thinking about what he said about them not truly being able to escape evil anywhere, and they agreed with him, through their own tale, but they wondered if they could truly escape on board the plane, or if evil was just around the corner.


End file.
